I have NEVER loved somebody or something the amount that I love you. You are a dream come true and I could never ever picture my life with anyone else. You have made me who I am today. You have … Continue reading

One Day.

I pray and pray that I have a relationship with her one day soon. Once we moved I thought hmmm this is going to get so much better…. but it feels like it hasn’t even budged. Nobody realizes how bad it hurts me that I cant have a relationship like him and my mom. It sucks quite frankly. I hide my feelings on the whole situation pretty well, which is good and bad. I just want an amazing relationship with not only her but everyone in the family. Will that ever happen?? I wanna say yes, but i just don’t know because it hasn’t happened yet. Its been nearly 2 years and nothing. Atleast we can be in the same room and talk…. thats a step forward I guess.


I guess what I am trying to say is I am hurting….. because it eats me away knowing I’ll never be good enough. No matter how hard I try I feel like I’ll never be good enough for her son.

His family seems so amazing…every single person. From the ones I’ve met and the ones I’ve heard stories about. I can’t wait to be apart of his wonderful family…I long for it. 

Brian is the one ill be marrying in the near future.

He is my soulmate. My life. My best friend. My true love. My rock. My backbone. My Hero. My better half. 

What we have is one of a kind….. its the love people write fairy tales about.

So one day….. I’ll have that relationship with his family. I will not quit trying and I will never give up no matter how hard it gets and no matter how long it takes. 

I will get her approval. 

One day. 


 Sitting here watching Gossip Girl. Alone.

 I absolutely hate this…. 

I HATE being alone….

please come home. 




Saying goodbye to you is like the end of the world. 

Its the worst pain Ive ever experienced. 

When it comes to you its the hardest thing I have ever done. 

These past couple of weeks have been the worst. 

Being alone in our NEW home SUCKS!!!!

Being away from you SUCKS!!!!

Not waking up to your snores every night SUCKS!!!

Coming home to an empty apartment…..SUCKS!!!!

And those kisses….man those kisses………… not having them everyday, every second, or whenever i want them….SUCKS!!!!

I can’t help but cry when I leave your side…. You are my soulmate, my prince, my forever and going days without your touch is the worst feeling EVER. I never ever ever want to go a day without you. 

I love you. 

I miss you. 

But really…..

I love you. 


Miss you like crazy. 


Where have I been??

Where have I been??

Well I’ve been busy with school, enjoying my life with Brian in our NEW apartment, oh and work…but not really because they NEVER schedule me. -_-

Hopefully from here on out I can keep updating and blogging…. I seemed to really like it when I first started. 

OH and now that I know Brian has it in his bookmark bar on his Mac…. maybe ill give him something to look at!

Happy now baby?? (: 

53 Years.

Today at School I experienced a client who has made a huge impact on my life. Well ACTUALLY let me start from the very very beginning.


So I started School in September, September 17th to be exact! Since the first week I had always seen this elderly couple come in every Wednesday or Thursday. The lady was always with a girl Kayla who is also a student at Rudae’s but she has been there a while longer then myself. I always saw this couple and thought to myself ” Seriously how adorable are they!”

Well today I had a Client scheduled in pink (which is a request) and I had no idea who it was. When I walked up to the front it was the elderly couple who I had always seen. This couple made me so at ease (because I was nervous to do my first roller set.) They were the most sweetest people I have probably ever encountered. Well anyways….. Marilyn is her name and Don is her husbands name. As i introduced myself I soon realized that Marilyn was incapable of doing a lot of stuff on her own (hints why her husband was there.) She walked very slow with a walker with Don hanging on to her arm guiding her.

This man led Marilyn to the back…he sat there for two hours while she got her hair done and also paid for everything and scheduled her next appointment. As i started to communicate with the couple I learned that Marilyn was legally blind.


Thats not what this is about…what she can and cant do…this about the incredible fact that this man, Don, was so amazing to her. They have been married for 53 years…… 53 years!!!! They had traveled to Europe 5 times and have traveled the United States about a dozen times! The way Don looked at his wife was the way any women would want their man to look at them. He acted as if he had fallen in love with her all over again with every glance. He loved his wife like a man should and he took care of her like a man should.

Don drives Marilyn to the salon every single week just so she can get her hair done…and she cant even see it. He stays by her side every second of the time she is there instead of just dropping her off and leaving.

They have made such an impact on my life after just one little visit. They showed me what love really means. Although Ive found love and I know the true meaning they made it clearer for me. They proved to me that love really can last.

As a teen with divorced parents and divorced running rapid in the world I started to wonder if marriages would really last. I don’t want to end up divorced well no body does…. but I was starting to have my doubts that people could really last their whole lives together anymore.

Until I met these incredible people.

Love still can last and be as incredible as it was when you were 18 or 19 years old. Its still possible.

I know I’ve found the one I can share a love like Marilyn and Don’s with and thats Brian. Getting old and growing up doesn’t scare me anymore since I know Brian will be by my side through it all. I am blessed to have a man who will be just like Don one day. I am blessed to be so in love with someone that nobody else matters in the world. Crazy that I am only 19 years old and I have found the man I’ll be married to for 53 plus years.

So all in all I love the career I am going for. I love experiencing new people and meeting some incredible individuals. Its amazing how one client who doesn’t really talk could change so much in one persons mind in such a little time. I could not thank Don and Marilyn for what they have and will do for me! LUCKILY that wonderful lady is my new regular, so every week ill enjoy their company for a while!

Oh and one last thing to end this amazing story

I love you Mr. Brian James. Thank you for promising me and giving me a love like these wonderful people.

Every time i spend some amount of time with that man I fall more and more in love with him. I just can’t help but be head over heels times a billion for him. He makes it so easy to fall in love with him every single day. It amazes me how much one person can love another human being…. it does not seem possible to love someone the amount I do for him…… but it is possible…. our relationship is living proof. 

Care Free…on Grammar and Punctuation

Now I understand correct Grammar and Punctuation is very important….but why must people flip out every time a word is misspelled or a period is missing?? 

Lets just put this out there for all the world to see….. Grammar is not my thing!!! 

Spelling is NOT my thing….. wait is that the same thing as grammar???

So as you follow my journey into adult world….please be kind about my posts…. 

Now that I think about it…..if Grammar and Spelling and all that Jazz is not my “thing” then why am I blogging?? 

hmmmm I guess we will never know (: